Expanding beyond our comfort zone

I am coming toward the completion of the Wellness Inventory certification course (An amazing awareness assessment I am offering starting February, 2011). The amount of personal growth that I experienced has been amazing and with that came an interesting assignment. We were asked to write our eulogy. More specifically, what would I like people to know about me when I'm gone and how would I like to be remembered? Death is something that creates a ton of fear within me and even more so since having children. Needless to say, this assignment has brought about a lot of emotions and a sense of total avoidance. Therefore, a place in my life that needs attention. I very well could have avoided this assignment but am choosing not to in order to let go of the fear behind it and open myself up to new experiences.

I truly believe that the universe provides opportunities for growth and it's with no coincidence that this assignment came to fruition. We have the choice to continue to make "safe" decisions or to move away from the status quo and into a new way of living. Making our comfort zone our permanent residence allows us to live small, a place that little growth and learning is experienced. Knowing there are moments in our lives when this is a place that we need to be but committing to branch out when the time is right. Whatever it may be for you, it's time to believe in yourself and move out of fear and into growth.
By taking small steps toward your goals the level of success increases greatly. Think about the last time you wanted to make a change in your life. Did you implement small steps or did you dive right in with unrealistic expectations of yourself leading to avoidance? Setting ourselves up for failure can be our coping mechanism to avoid change but can also be a habit that can be altered with just noticing and then making the shift to avoid unproductive patterns.

What small step will you take to move away from your comfort zone and into a place that brings you great joy and a life with purpose? You speaking up at your department meeting, communicating how your feeling instead of avoiding confrontation, making that appointment with your child's teacher to discuss your concerns, interviewing for the job that pays less but brings passion in your life, etc.
In the spirit of the New Year I encourage you to include this small steps approach when making resolutions and you will be amazed at the outcome!

"May I have the courage today to live the life that I would love, to postpone my dream no longer but do at last what I came here for and waste my heart on fear no more."

(A Morning Offering, John O'Donohue)

Telephonic Personal Renewal Group for Moms

Do you want to reconnect with who you are?
Are you interested in new ideas for self-renewal and life balance?
Would you like to enhance your emotional well being and learn to be more present?

Then join my new telephonic Personal Renewal Group (PRG) based on the award winning book, "Mother's Guide to Self Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate, and Re-Balance your Life," By Renee Trudeau.


A PRG is a structured life coaching program for women at all stages.
Topics will include:
~Reconnecting with who you are
~Strategies and insights for balanced living
~Managing our energy, saying No, and asking for help
~The Transformative power of Self-Care

Date: Beginning 1/13/2011
Time:8-9:30 PM EST
2nd Thursday of each month, for 6 months
Cost: $240 for six-month program (includes 6 evening calls, email support between meetings a copy of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal.

To register or if you have any questions email:
agoslee@embracingtransformation.net
For more info about the national program go to: www.SelfRenewalCircles.com

RSVP ASAP as spots are running out!
Feel free to forward to other Mom's in your life that could benefit.

**If you live in the Northern Virginia area and would like to do an in person 6 month program with a group of friends I am able to create these as well. Please inquire to the above e-mail address. **

Supportive~Nurturing~Empowering

Flexibility

Where does flexibility show up in your life? Can you see beyond the black and white mentality? Do you live your life by the all or nothing mantra?
In order to implement flexibility into our daily lives we have to become more aware of how it will benefit us and what it will look like when we are actually living with it. In doing so, a shift needs to happen. A sense of awareness needs to be created that reminds us when an experience emerges that we have a choice in how we react. Noticing that and taking a step back while responding in a way that will give us the outcome we are trying to achieve. Letting go of the "it has to be my way" approach and developing a structure around how you will implement this change of being, i.e. take a deep breath before responding when my child isn't listening.
When flexibility becomes familiar the tug of war lessens, patience is no longer a stranger in our lives and we begin to let go of hidden agendas and tunnel vision. The self-inflicted pressure of having things a certain way or for a situation to unfold based on an expectation we are holding only leaves us disappointed, exhausted, and in some cases behaving in a way that is self-defeating.
Recently, Dan and I took the kids to Georgetown so I could do some shopping before we went to dinner....... Well, I had an idea of what that would look like (YES, I created an expectation and was holding on to that vision with both hands, sigh..) and the fact of the matter is what happened is far from what I envisioned. Mac and Sephora are like a candy shop for my 2 year old, Madeline. By the time we left she had lipstick on her lips and face and smothered over the arms of her new off white ruffle shirt.
While this was occuring, I could feel my chest tightening and a sense of anxiety taking over while on hyper speed running through the stores trying to force the outcome of what I wanted to be my reality. I chose to ignore my triggers, i.e. tightening of my chest in hopes that the situation would change. Well, it didn't. I could no longer ignore what was happening and made the choice to go to dinner instead of fighting against my circumstances. Once I made that decision the tension disepated and I was able to enjoy the moment as it was meant to be. Ahhhhhh, relief!
I enourage you to allow flexibility into your life and see what happens.
As always be kind to yourself and focus on the process and not perfection.
Please share your experience with all of us!

"You can only lose something that you have, you cannot lose something that you are."
~Eckhart Tolle

Letting go

The time has come for Benjamin, my first born, to start Kindergarten. I have envisioned the school bus driving away in my mind for the past month while anticipating that he only see my smiles instead of my tears. For this moment is the beginning of his life journey and the start of what life is all about for me as a Mom, letting go.
You see I struggle with this deeply. I feel the void and it's real. Instead of pushing away the emotions I have consciously chosen to be with them. I have also chosen to not let them take over so I am able to be part of this journey. Because when we choose how we want to "be" in a situation we are setting ourselves up to succeed.
There are still moments that I experience great sadness. As the bus was pulling away this morning I glanced up to see Benjamin blowing me kisses and smiling with enthusiasm. Moments like this bring back the tears but make my heart smile knowing he's easing into his own life with excitement and I'm right there experiencing it with him.
The lesson I have learned is that it's OK to feel whatever emotion it may be in any given situation and to take the time to sit with it in hopes that we learn and grow.
What I know for sure is that these tears are part of what it means to be present and that is a process I am committed to as a Mom and an individual seeking meaning in life.
I wanted to share a few resources with you that have helped guide Benjamin and I through this transition in hopes that they will be a source of comfort for you as well.
Books:
The Kissing Hand -Audrey Penn
Wherever you are: my love will find you -Nancy Tillman

Songs:
Always, In all ways -Kenny Loggins
Beautiful Boy-Ben Harper

Quotes:
A mother holds her children's hands for a while...their hearts forever.
-- Author Unknown

Knowledge is power

Lead, E. coli, toxins, pain reliever standards in question, etc.
Has anyone else found the recent recall frenzy alarming?
When I say "frenzy" it's a bit of an exaggeration, I know, but seems somewhat huge to me. I feel like everywhere I turn there is products being recalled or studies that have been conducted that provides information that has the potential to be harmful. Although I truly believe that "knowledge is power" and am grateful that we have the ability to detect toxic materials, the recent number of situations feels a bit disheartening. As a Mom, I want to provide a safe and healthy environment for my children in whatever way that I can. The question that I can't seem to let go of is why would something be produced and sold that is harmful? This question is extremely complex but it poses a fair argument and one that I feel strongly about.
In the past year, I have become mindful in buying our food without pesticides, using products that are chemical free, and most recently researching both BPA and phthalate free products. It takes a continuous effort to stay on top of current studies and findings to keep unhealthy products out of my home. So when I buy meat, a purse, put my child to bed in their crib, and dispense pain reliever do I have to worry that I am putting them at risk when I have done everything I can as a consumer? Continuing to be an advocate for my family and buying products mindfully is what I will continue to do and trust that these many mistakes will provide new standards in production. I can only accept that doing my best has to be good enough because living in fear is not a healthy and productive place to reside.

I want to provide a few of the recent recalls and studies in case readers are unaware. Please know that this isn't a complete list but includes: bison meat, Kellogg's cereal, kid's juices and snacks, lead in purses, cribs, and Tylenol.

A few of my go to resources that you may find helpful:
Environmental Working Group
US Consumer Product Safety Commission
Skin Deep Cosmetic Safety Database
Saf Baby

I invite all of you to share some of your go to resources with the group by commenting below. I will continue to add links as appropriate.

Yours in mindful living,
Amy

A moment in time

Our household is anything but peaceful at this moment. Madeline, my 2 year old, is at a heightened stage of separation anxiety. Meaning Mommy can't be out of sight and if I am the screams that occur are ear piercing and not short for that matter. Hearing her choking from crying so hard is heartbreaking and unbearable to ignore. The two days I have committed to client sessions and working on the growth of my practice look something like this; tip toeing by her after my sitter arrives before those little eyes notice, racing up the stairs in speed mode to try to accomplish hours worth of work in a short period of time. A double edge sword and not the state in which I like to live. I remember this tug of war all to vividly. Motherhood, professionalism and individuality. Almost two years ago I left behind a career in organizational development for just that reason. I couldn't ignore that aching feeling that consumed me Monday-Friday. A compromise is what I envisioned and created by starting my practice. What I know for sure, is that for me, this situation outweighs working out of the home 50 hrs a week.
What I need to remember is to let go of my expectations and allow myself to become more comfortable with flexibility. A hard concept to implement when one has created self inflicted deadlines. I want it all and know that I can have it when the time is right. Being gentle with myself and knowing that when my perspective shifts from abundance to scarcity that I need to regroup.
This situation reminds me of the advice my Mom has always given me since I entered Motherhood and that is, "this too shall pass." Every challenging phase our children enter can feel overwhelming at times allowing us to get caught up in the chaos and forgetting it's just a moment in time.
For now I will start my day by welcoming what is and taking those much needed deep breaths when I forget about my dear friend, flexibility.

What are you manifesting?

Our mind is a powerful tool and we are the masters behind our every thought. It sounds like a simplistic concept but we really do choose what we think about. We are the only ones that have the ability to change our thought process. In order to manifest what we want, a shift needs to occur that takes us away from being consumed with what we DON'T want. Have you ever been in a phase of life where your thoughts may not have been life affirming? You may have gotten into a funk and started seeing things in a negative capacity. Maybe negative thoughts have always consumed you. It can become a vicious cycle and one that can be difficult to move away from without the tools to get you there. The Law of Attraction is a fascinating concept and has been studied for years. A resource that I recommend to my clients is, Law of Attraction by Michael Losier. This book provides some methodology but has been the only one I have read thus far that includes the practicality realm of implementing the concept into your life.
Are you ready to manifest what you truly desire? Then take a few moment to read my suggestions below. There is no time like the present!

5 ways to manifest what you want:
1. Change your perspective
2. Create a vision in your mind of what you DO want. Remember that anything is possible if we just believe. It's easier to think about what we don't want so be patient and know this step will take some time.
3. Imagine it really happening. The key is that nothing is too big for you. You can have it all!
4. Make decisions that are in alignment with what you are wanting to manifest.
5. Step back and observe how your life is shifting.

Enjoy your journey!

Making self-care a priority

Let's face it Motherhood is a juggling act!
In comes summer break and the desire to pack it all in and make it the best time your family has experienced. The end result, some BUSY fun filled days! Mom's are constantly giving which is absolutely necessary but can be depleting if they aren't filling their "cups" first. In order to be at your absolute best, making yourself a priority is essential. When we are nurturing ourselves, we are more able to give, creating a balance that feels just right. I know when I take time to refuel I am more patient and understanding with my children and feel an overall sense of balance. Consider the tips below and know that there will be times when getting out of the house isn't realistic. Make it happen in your home, after all flexibility provides endless possibilities!

Four tips to make self-care a priority:
1. Put yourself on your priority list
2. Create a plan of what self-care looks like, i.e., description, times per wk/mo, actual rituals that are rejuvenating, etc.
3. Request the time "off" and get help from your spouse, babysitter, mother, etc.
4. Now actually do it!
5. Notice the impact. You will be amazed. I know I was!

Here's to YOU and filling your cup first!

"Self-care is about nurturing yourself on all levels- physically, mentally, emotionally,
and spiritually-so you can live, love and parent optimally."
Renee Trudeau

The gift of the present moment

We live in an amazing time where technology has changed our world significantly. This also means that we have the ability to become overly accessible and distracted. The 24/7 mentality can become difficult to manage for many of us. It has the potential to take us away from being present with ourselves and those we love. Our relationships may suffer because we have lost sight of what's most important, connecting on a deeper level. Have you ever picked up your phone and began reading e-mail while in a conversation with someone? I think most of us have without thinking about the unintentional message we are sending.

Sometimes I get lost in the fast paced world and have to remind myself that being present is a continuous process. What I've learned is that when I become more conscious I am better able to sense when I'm falling short. My children have also guided me with unspoken words to see the beauty and life in everything. I continue to look to them for guidance when I find that I am losing my way. Their laughter, smiles, sincere expressions, and unconditional love are constant reminders that life is precious and only I can make the decision to savor every minute of it.

I wanted to share this photo of my daughter because it reflects a time when we were fully engaged and in the moment. It's the little reminders my children provide that allow me to be the mother I long to become and the inspiration for them as they grow into their own.

"The past exists only in our memories, the future only in our plans,
The present is our only reality."
Robert Pirsig

A Mother's Day Reflection

As I was enjoying some quiet time on Mother's Day I began thinking about the transformation I have experienced as a Mom. What has been the biggest impact?
As I reflected I remembered the first few years of Benjamin's life and not wanting to leave him in fear that I would miss something. As a full time working Mom I wanted to get "my fix" with my little guy and that meant spending each and every moment outside of work with him. That's what a "good" Mom does was the limited belief I was carrying around.

After years of trying to beat the clock it got the best of me. I was exhausted and lost my sense of individuality. The role of Mom had become my identity.
Guilt ridden but knowing that self-care needed to be at the top of my priority list I joined a few Yoga classes. The first few times I left the house were not easy, especially when Benjamin was crying and didn't want me to leave.

What I know for sure is that when I take the time to rejuvenate and connect with myself I am better able to be the Mom I want to be for my children.
A win-win for all of us!

In honor of Mother's Day I am offering a free copy of The Mothers Guide to Self-Renewal to the 50th person who becomes a fan. This resource has changed my life so much that I have become a Personal Renewal Group Facilitator and want to share this manual with one of you.

What is your favorite self-care ritual?

Transforming Motherhood Blog

Welcome!

I am excited to announce the inception of my blog, "Transforming Motherhood".

On this site I will post personal experiences, stories, information, and resources that have impacted my life. In doing so, my goal is to impact yours. Together, we will create a community of "like minded Mom's" who come together to explore, communicate and learn from each other.

Become a fan and subscribe to receive notification of new postings.
Looking forward to connecting with each of you.

With Gratitude,
Amy