Our household is anything but peaceful at this moment. Madeline, my 2 year old, is at a heightened stage of separation anxiety. Meaning Mommy can't be out of sight and if I am the screams that occur are ear piercing and not short for that matter. Hearing her choking from crying so hard is heartbreaking and unbearable to ignore. The two days I have committed to client sessions and working on the growth of my practice look something like this; tip toeing by her after my sitter arrives before those little eyes notice, racing up the stairs in speed mode to try to accomplish hours worth of work in a short period of time. A double edge sword and not the state in which I like to live. I remember this tug of war all to vividly. Motherhood, professionalism and individuality. Almost two years ago I left behind a career in organizational development for just that reason. I couldn't ignore that aching feeling that consumed me Monday-Friday. A compromise is what I envisioned and created by starting my practice. What I know for sure, is that for me, this situation outweighs working out of the home 50 hrs a week.
What I need to remember is to let go of my expectations and allow myself to become more comfortable with flexibility. A hard concept to implement when one has created self inflicted deadlines. I want it all and know that I can have it when the time is right. Being gentle with myself and knowing that when my perspective shifts from abundance to scarcity that I need to regroup.
This situation reminds me of the advice my Mom has always given me since I entered Motherhood and that is, "this too shall pass." Every challenging phase our children enter can feel overwhelming at times allowing us to get caught up in the chaos and forgetting it's just a moment in time.
For now I will start my day by welcoming what is and taking those much needed deep breaths when I forget about my dear friend, flexibility.
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